The key to achieving your goals is actually NOT to focus on the end-game, but to make smaller, attainable goals that slowly work towards #transformation.
What gets in the way of achieving the goals we set?
Have you ever wondered why you do not achieve the goals you set for yourself? The answer may be that you are setting goals beyond what is attainable for you right now.
This is not meant to knock you down, break your confidence, lower your self-worth, or tell you to aim lower, but to help you set goals that are realistic for where you are right now, in this moment of your journey.
If we set goals that are lofty or unattainable, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and failure. Once we begin this cycle, it’s very easy to fall into the trap of thinking, “I am a failure. I never get anything right. How will I ever reach this goal?“ We get so discouraged that we may give up, & our #selfesteem and #confidence in our abilities is in the sh*tter.
Let me give you an example that most people can easily relate to… Losing weight. Let’s say you set out your goal to lose 10 pounds. While this may be a healthy goal to begin, you set your method of achieving this to working out seven days a week for two hours and not eating any “bad” foods (This is a whole other topic that we could easily get into, because we all know that #bodyimage can be incredibly difficult on our confidence and #selfworth, but for today let’s stick with goals. *If you have an active Eating Disorder or history of one, I strongly encourage you to seek help at a professional eating disorder clinic with a registered dietitian and a great DBT therapist. I also recommend following @alifewellnourished for #healthy intuitive eating).
The part of the scenario that is unhealthy and unhelpful is setting the goal of working out seven days a week and not eating any, “bad,“ foods. Working out every day is an extremely high commitment, and one that could easily be broken, which sets you up for feeling guilty, shameful, & disappointed in yourself. The same is true of not eating any, “bad,“ foods. This starts an unhealthy cycle of self-doubt, criticism, negative self-talk, & unhelpful behaviors that keep us #stuck from working towards our goals.
THIS IS NOT HELPFUL!
So how do we set goals for ourselves? The key is that we must set goals that are REALISTIC & ATTAINABLE! We must set goals that we can actually work towards, goals that we can make progress towards, and goals that will eventually help us reach our end-game goal.
For example, in this case, our end-game goal is to lose 10 pounds. While that may feel overwhelming, we can start with making healthy changes like working out 30 minutes a day three times a week. And we can set a healthy habit of replacing one unhealthy meal with a meal that is full of nutritious foods like protein, complex carbs, and vegetables.
Do you see the difference in these goals versus the original #goals we set? These are much more REALISTIC & ATTAINABLE. By setting goals like this, we are more likely to actually implement the behavioral change, therefore causing us to feel #proud of ourselves, #confident in our ability to change, and encouraged to keep working towards the larger end-game goal.
Start by identifying one area of your life that you would like to change. What is a #realistic and #attainable goal that you can set for yourself either on a daily or weekly basis to start implementing this #change? The time is now, start today! If you are struggling to identify where to start or feel overwhelmed by the process, don’t hesitate to reach out for individual help. I offer individual therapy, as well as #empowerment and confidence coaching.
#maggiewilhelmcoaching #confidencecoach #mentalhealthcoach #empowermentcoach #selflove #connection #healthyrelationships #healing #mentalhealthawareness #selfrespect #acceptance #change #validation #selfcompassion #growth #connection #empowered #nourished