Do you ever find yourself stuck in the viscous cycle of feeling bad, thinking negatively about yourself, & therefore staying stuck in unhealthy patterns that prevent you from reaching your goals? If so, this 3-step process from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (an evidenced-based approach to treating mental health issues) is a hands- on approach to cope with difficult #emotions & change your unhealthy #thoughts
Where to Begin
Start by Identifying which thoughts trigger intense emotions
So how do you know which thoughts are unhelpful or hurtful to you? The simplest answer is found by asking yourself, “Is this thought helping me? Helping my relationships? Helping me reach my goal?” If the answer is no, you need to reframe your unhelpful thinking aka #cognitivedistortions (CD's)
#cognitivebehavioraltherapy or #CBT teaches that the most common CD’s (pictured below) are extremely prevalent for all human beings. In fact, most of us experience these on a daily basis, without even realizing it! Hence the term, automatic thoughts.
Real Life Examples
Here is a powerful example of an automatic thought that I have shared with countless clients. Without a doubt, I get the same reaction every time I use this example of the personalization & jumping to conclusions CD. Pretend you are in middle school again… You walk through the door & see two girls look up at you. They’re laughing. What is your automatic thought? Inevitably, the answer I always get is, “They are laughing at me.”
However when you “Check the Facts” of this situation, you realize that you don’t have any evidence to prove they are laughing at you. They could be laughing at a million things! Your mind jumped to conclusions personalized this, something our brain naturally does. You assumed they were laughing at you, but you have no proof- therefore this assumption is an unhelpful CD that triggers embarrassment, shame, sadness, or anger.
Each of these CD’s is somewhat different, but the common theme is that ALL of them are forms of unhelpful thinking patterns that create distress in you.
Remember the Cognitive Triangle? (see post entitled "Manifest Abundance in Your Life") It explains how our thoughts, feelings, & behaviors are connected. Therefore when an upsetting situation occurs, such as the one above, it can trigger a variety of intense emotions & then contribute to ineffective or unhealthy behaviors (arguing, drinking or using drugs, overeating, etc.) which then lead to mental health problems, relationship issues, & ineffective decision making. Cue ➾ guilt & shame!
#cognitivebehavioraltherapy or #CBT teaches that we need to reframe our unhelpful thinking in order to reduce challenging emotions. So how do we #grow #heal & transform our "failures" or disappointments into #opportunities ?
Balanced Alternatives
Experts say that the most successful people in life all have one thing in common. They are NOT necessarily the smartest, most talented amongst their peers, however they all report this commonality:
Instead of giving up when they fail, they used this as an #opportunity to learn & grow.
In CBT, we call this process reframing unhelpful thinking by finding a, “Balanced Alternative,” aka a new and helpful thought. A Balanced Alternative must meet 3 important criteria.
1. Balanced
2. Realistic
3. Positive
For example, instead of, “I am a failure,” your new balanced alternative might be, “I may not be where I want to be, but I am working towards my goals everyday.” This new thought must meet the three criteria, & it must feel genuine to YOU! By changing your view of the situation, giving yourself grace & #compassion that things didn't go as you hoped or planned, and asking, "what can I learn from this experience?" you shift to healthier, balanced approach. A view that will let learning, growth, opportunity, & abundance enter your mindset and your life.
Change the Pattern
Knowing the connection between your unhelpful thoughts, emotions, and ineffective behaviors can be life changing! You have the ability to change your thoughts, therefore helping you feel better emotionally & also changing your patterns to be more inline with your goals & values.
Just like the negative cycle that can be perpetuated with pessimistic thinking, you can manifest #optimism #growth #healing, confidence, & #abundance when you focus your thoughts on the positive. Some examples include practicing gratitude, reframing unhelpful thoughts/limiting beliefs as shown above, & working towards your goals #onedayatatime (see a guide on this in the blog, "How to achieve your highest goals").
Start by asking yourself, "Is this helpful?" in reference to your thoughts or behaviors. If the answer is no, something needs to change!
Get Connected
Acting within our #goals & values leads to improved mental health, #wellness #selfempowerment & will increase your self-worth, confidence & empowerment 💪🏽💪🏾💪🏿
I encourage you to explore your thoughts that trigger difficult emotions, unhealthy behaviors, & get in the way of you achieving your goals- these are the ones that hold you back, keep you stuck, or take you to a dark place. THOSE are the ones you have to change! My Serenity Program offers key insights, powerful how-to guides, & life-changing practices to transform your confidence. I also offer individualized therapy, #confidencecoaching or #empowermentcoaching
Visit my website: maggiewilhelmcoaching.com or join my listserv to begin your Empowerment Journey today: https://mailchi.mp/d0498a90ba3a/begin-your-transformation-today.
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