There is no "quick fix," or simple solution to life's challenges, so the sooner we give up on THAT idea and radically accept the things we don't like, we will begin to feel empowered to change the things within our power & control.
Do you find yourself focusing, ruminating, or worrying about things that are outside of your control (ie. your partner's health, budget cuts at your job, your child having a developmental delay, your family's safety, your ex's behaviors, etc.)?
Acceptance v. Change empowers us to identify what is within our power & control to change versus what we have to let go.
Enter DBT
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy teaches us that life is full of dialectics, meaning that two things can be true at the same time. The ultimate dialectic, according to DBT, is #acceptance v. #change. This concept has helped countless people through every day life stressors, addiction recovery, tragedy, stage of life changes, & even trauma. It postulates that in order to find inner peace, we must:
1. Accept what we cannot change.
2. Change the most difficult aspects of ourselves.
Identifying what is within your power & control and CAN be changed, versus what is outside of your power & control and needs to be accepted/let go is life-changing. So instead of worrying about the stressors above, you can focus on what is within YOUR power & control (buying healthy groceries for the home, working hard towards your career, giving your child the resources & help they need, taking necessary safety precautions like wearing a seatbelt & locking the door, disconnecting from your ex with healthy boundaries, etc.)
Dialectics help us embrace middle ground. A dialectic means that two opposing things can be true at the same time:
✨ Acceptance v. Change
✨ you can do everything in your power to help your child & they still make mistakes
✨ you can encourage your partner's health goals, but not control the choices they make
✨ you can love someone and be angry at them at the same time
✨ you can want to be alone and also want to be connected to others
✨ you can accept yourself the way you are & still work on changing to become the best version of yourself
✨ you can be independent & still need help
✨ you can be mad at yourself & still #respect yourself
✨ you can make a mistake & still continue to work towards your goals
So what happens when you’ve used all the coping skills & #thestruggleisreal?
Where do we turn when struggling deeply, yet the situation is out of our control?
✨RADICAL ACCEPTANCE✨
Radical means ALL the way, completely & totally. It is accepting in your mind, your heart & your body- “this is reality.”Radical acceptance is when you stop fighting reality & stop throwing tantrums because reality is not the way you want it to be, & let go of the bitterness.
Refusing to accept reality can keep you stuck in unhappiness, bitterness, anger, sadness, shame, & other painful emotions.
By accepting reality, you can stop ruminating on, “what could have been,” work through your pain, begin #healing & focus on what is within your power & control to change.
It is so empowering to recognize & let go of the things in our life that we cannot control, & therefore must accept, while simultaneously identifying what IS within our power & control to change, & shifting our focus to acting within those #goals
Radical Acceptance is not passive, it is an ACTIVE choice that leads to improved #selfempowerment #mentalhealth #wellness & will increase your #selfworth #confidence & #empowerment 💪🏽💪🏾💪🏿
WE CAN DO HARD THINGS
Radically Accepting life for exactly what it is allows to be open to ALL of it. The Good. The Bad. And the Biggest Challenges. #giveyourselfgrace & as you practice #radicalacceptance remember:
✨Validate your feelings.
✨Get help when you are struggling, especially with grief, trauma,
or mental health problems.
✨Connect with those who empower you.
✨Practice #gratitude & #selfcompassion
✨Work towards your goals-today that might mean taking a break.
✨Take time to nourish your soul using the 3-components of CBT Wellness.
✨Everything can be approached #onedayatatime
Are you ready to transform your life by embracing acceptance v. change? Visit my website to buy my DBT how-to guide on thinking & acting dialectically!
Get Connected
How might Acceptance v. Change bring you #peace #healing & wellness? By accepting that which you cannot change, your focus will begin to shift to a place of #empowerment & #selfrespect & you will see changes in your #selfworth & #confidence because you are acting within YOUR goals & values.
I encourage you to explore your thoughts that trigger difficult emotions, unhealthy behaviors, & get in the way of you achieving your goals- these are the ones that hold you back, keep you stuck, or take you to a dark place. THOSE are the ones you have to change! My Serenity Program offers key insights, powerful how-to guides, & life-changing practices to transform your confidence. I also offer individualized therapy, #confidencecoaching or #empowermentcoaching
Visit my website: maggiewilhelmcoaching.com or join my listserv to begin your Empowerment Journey today: https://mailchi.mp/d0498a90ba3a/begin-your-transformation-today.
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